If i come over, it means nothing
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
