What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
