Pappa wants mamma naked
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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