I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I should be sponsored by Trojan
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
