She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
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