I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
