Sry I called you an 8
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
When are your genitals available?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
