i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
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