it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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