I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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