You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
