I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
i've created a new STD.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
FUCK WHALES
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
