peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
No...this little piggys going to the bar
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
