You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.