He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
