i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS