In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
