big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
