Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Randomize
