Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
