I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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