Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Randomize
