you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
