I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
