Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
