just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
