i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
they're like a gay fantastic four
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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