Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
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