At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
