Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
