dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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