Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
