Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
