We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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