She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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