I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Dicks are not precious.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
