If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
