so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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