Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Randomize
