so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Randomize
