is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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