There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
