Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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