They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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