She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Randomize
