What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize