I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
