that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
