There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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