dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
