Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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