you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
