i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
