I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
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