The maid of honor just puked.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
