You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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