I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Randomize
