I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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