my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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