I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
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